聖誕節到了，布什向着上帝許願道：
“上帝，我希望得到拉燈。”
聖誕老人出現了，説：
“鑽進我的口袋，我會讓你的願望實現的。”
布什就鑽了進去，剛一進去，他就發現裏面有一個人，一驚之下，他竟然發現那個人就是……
布什大笑道：
“聖誕老人果然有能力，有膽識，有才華，有魄力………(以下省略)
這時，他聽見拉燈正在用阿拉伯語重複這句話。
最後，兩人聽見聖誕老人説：
“哈哈，兩方面的賞金我都得了。”
A Useful Lesson
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar.
Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， pson took him to his usual bar for the first drank for half an hour， and then pson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when you've had enough? Well， I'll tell you see those two lights at the end of the bar? When they seem to have become four，you've had enough and should go home.”
“But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”
有益的教訓
在英國，十八歲以下的人不準進酒吧喝酒。
湯普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一個酒吧喝酒，但他從陶寶網來不帶他的兒子湯姆去，因為他年紀太小。後來，當湯姆年滿十八歲的時候，湯普森先生第一次帶他去他常去的那家酒吧。他們喝了半個小時，而後，湯普森先生對他兒子説：“湯姆，現在我要告訴你一個有益的教訓。你必須時時小心不要喝得太多。你怎麼知道你喝夠了呢?好，我來告訴你。你看見酒吧那頭有兩盞燈嗎?當那兩盞燈看起來變成四盞的時候，你就喝夠了，應該回家了。
“可是，爸爸。”湯姆説：“在酒吧那頭我只能看見一盞燈。”
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市裏的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開着車，想看看農莊是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裏人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱着一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裏人對農夫説，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?" 那位農夫回答説，"時間對豬有什麼意義?"
The thief and the judge
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
法官與小偷
那天是聖誕節，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什麼而被起訴?”他問。
“採購聖誕節物品過早。”被告答。
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”
在商店開門之前，“犯人應道。
Jesus's Telly
A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.
"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.
耶穌的電視機
聖誕節時孩子要了紙和蠟筆，想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最後這件藝術品被陳列出來供父母鑑賞。
他們對耶穌誕生後睡的馬槽，牧羊人，耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示讚賞。
“可是那個角落裏是什麼?”媽媽問。
“噢，那是他們的電視機，”孩子回答説
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe
聖誕老人喜歡在花園裏做什麼?
答案：鋤地。(英文裏Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是聖誕老人的笑聲。)
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
聖誕節前夕，聖誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時看到地上有一張新台幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?
答案：當然是聖誕老人啦!為什麼?因為大家都知道另外兩者並不存在。