joke1
wifetalkingtoherhusband(whoreadsnewspaperallday):iwishiwereanewspapersoi’llbeinyourhandsallday.
husband:iwishthattoo,soicouldchangeyoudaily
joke2
alittleboyaskedhisfather:daddy,howmuchdoesitcosttogetmarried?
thefatherreplied:idon’tknowson.i’mstillpaying!!
joke3
kshim:whatareyoudoing?
thesonreplied:dadiamfedupwithmylife!mynewlymarriageisnotgoingwell,mywifeandmymomkeepfightingwitheachother!ihavetopaybillsformyin-laws,andihatethislife!!!iwanttogofarfromhere,iwanttotasteeveryjoyoflife,andiwanttohaveeveryfunoflife!!!
fathersaid:wait!!!!!!!!iamcomingwithyou
joke4
usbanddriveshertotheairportandwisheshertohaveagoodtrip.
thewifeanswered:thankyouhoney,whatwouldyoulikemetobringforyou?
thehusbandlaughedandsaid:anenglishgirl!!!
eekslaterhepickedherupintheairportandasked:sohoney,howwasthetrip?
thewife:verygood,thankyou.
thehusband:and,whathappenedtomypresent?
thewife:whichpresent?
thehusband:whatiaskedfor:theenglishgirl?
thewife:oh,that!well,ididwhaticould;nowwehavetowaitafewmonthstoseeifit’sagirl!!!
joke5
ifedoesn’tlikeitandmoveson,ifeasks,"whatareyouwaitingfor?"thehusbandreplies,"autumn."
joke6
amanissittingreadinghisnewspaperwhenthewifesneaksupbehindhimandwhacks(打)himontheheadwithafryingpan."whatthehellwasthatfor?"heasks."thatwasforthepieceofpaperinyourtrouserpocketswiththenamemaryellenwrittenonit,"’tbesilly,"hesays."twoweeksagowheniwenttotheraces(賽馬),maryellenwasthenameofoneofthehorsesibeton."sheseemssatisfiedatthis,edayslaterhe’sagainsittinginhischairreadingwhenshenails(打，俚語)himwithanevenbiggerfryingpan,hecomesaround,heasksagain,"whatthehellwasthatfor?""yourfuckinghorsejustphoned."
joke7
wifetohusband:youweresodrunklastnightthatyouinsultedyourboss.
husband:pissonhim!wife:youdidandhefiredyou!
husband:fuckhim!
wife:ididandyoucangobacktoworktomorrow.
joke8
eypassedabarnyardofmules(騾子)andpigs,thewifesarcasticallyasked,"relativesofyours?""yep,"thehusbandreplied,"in-laws".
joke1
wifetalkingtoherhusband(whoreadsnewspaperallday):iwishiwereanewspapersoi’llbeinyourhandsallday.
husband:iwishthattoo,soicouldchangeyoudaily
joke2
alittleboyaskedhisfather:daddy,howmuchdoesitcosttogetmarried?
thefatherreplied:idon’tknowson.i’mstillpaying!!
joke3
kshim:whatareyoudoing?
thesonreplied:dadiamfedupwithmylife!mynewlymarriageisnotgoingwell,mywifeandmymomkeepfightingwitheachother!ihavetopaybillsformyin-laws,andihatethislife!!!iwanttogofarfromhere,iwanttotasteeveryjoyoflife,andiwanttohaveeveryfunoflife!!!
fathersaid:wait!!!!!!!!iamcomingwithyou
joke4
usbanddriveshertotheairportandwisheshertohaveagoodtrip.
thewifeanswered:thankyouhoney,whatwouldyoulikemetobringforyou?
thehusbandlaughedandsaid:anenglishgirl!!!
eekslaterhepickedherupintheairportandasked:sohoney,howwasthetrip?
thewife:verygood,thankyou.
thehusband:and,whathappenedtomypresent?
thewife:whichpresent?
thehusband:whatiaskedfor:theenglishgirl?
thewife:oh,that!well,ididwhaticould;nowwehavetowaitafewmonthstoseeifit’sagirl!!!
joke5
ifedoesn’tlikeitandmoveson,ifeasks,"whatareyouwaitingfor?"thehusbandreplies,"autumn."
joke6
amanissittingreadinghisnewspaperwhenthewifesneaksupbehindhimandwhacks(打)himontheheadwithafryingpan."whatthehellwasthatfor?"heasks."thatwasforthepieceofpaperinyourtrouserpocketswiththenamemaryellenwrittenonit,"’tbesilly,"hesays."twoweeksagowheniwenttotheraces(賽馬),maryellenwasthenameofoneofthehorsesibeton."sheseemssatisfiedatthis,edayslaterhe’sagainsittinginhischairreadingwhenshenails(打，俚語)himwithanevenbiggerfryingpan,hecomesaround,heasksagain,"whatthehellwasthatfor?""yourfuckinghorsejustphoned."
joke7
wifetohusband:youweresodrunklastnightthatyouinsultedyourboss.
husband:pissonhim!wife:youdidandhefiredyou!
husband:fuckhim!
wife:ididandyoucangobacktoworktomorrow.
joke8
eypassedabarnyardofmules(騾子)andpigs,thewifesarcasticallyasked,"relativesofyours?""yep,"thehusbandreplied,"in-laws".
onegirlwenttothepreacherandconfessedhersin.
有個女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪………
girl:father,ihavesinned.
女孩：神父，我有罪
preacher:whatdidyoudo,littlegirl?
神父：孩子，你犯了什麼罪呢？
girl:yesterday,icalledamana“sonofabitch.“
女孩：昨天，我罵了某個男人一句 「你這個狗孃養的 」
preacher:why?whatdidhedotoyou?
神父：為什麼？他對你做了什麼嗎？
girl:hetouchedmybreast.
女孩：他……他摸我的胸部
preacher:youmeanlikethis?(theguydidit.)
神父：你是説像這樣子嗎？（神父伸手摸女孩的胸部）
girl:(alittleshyfromthetouch)yes.
女孩：（因為神父的舉動而有一些害羞）嗯……是的
preacher:that“snoreasontocallhimthat.
神父：只是這樣子的話你沒有理由罵他啊
girl:buthealsotookoffmycloth.
女孩：但是……他又把我的衣服脱掉……
preacher:youmeanlikethis?(hediditagain.)
神父：你是説像這樣子嗎？（神父動手脱掉女孩的衣服）
girl:yes,that“swhathedid.
女孩：是的，是這樣子沒錯
preacher:that“sstillnoreasontocallhimthat.
神父：可是這樣子你還是沒有理由罵他啊
girl:andheputhisyou-know-whatintomyyou-know-what...
女孩：然後……他把他的……那個……放到我的……那個……裏面……
preacher:(evillaugh...)youmeanlikethis?(andyou-know-what)
神父：（奸笑貌）你是説像這樣子嗎？（神父和女孩就那個那個了）
girl:(afterafewminutes...),that“swhathedid...
女孩：（數分鐘後）喔……是的……就是這樣子………
preacher:mydeargirl,that“sstillnoreasontocallhima...
神父：我親愛的孩子，就算是這樣你還是沒有理由罵他「你這個………」
girl:buthehadaids!!
女孩：但是他有愛滋病呀!!
preacher:thatsonofabitch!!!
神父：那個狗孃養的!!!